But I just wanted to share a story about my precious daughter.
When we fell pregnant with our first child in 2005 I had a dream: literally. In this dream I saw four generations of women in my family standing on the land near my grandmothers home. I saw my grandma, my mother, myself and a little girl and I heard God say her name was (let's just say 'Pinky').
So I started buying pink things in preparation for this 'little girl' I believed that God had promised me.
When I went for my first ultrasound at 12 weeks I asked if they could tell what it was. It was a boy.
I cried - not because I was disappointed but because it wasn't what I expected.
But that's okay, perhaps it had just been a 'dream' and we all have vivid dreams when pregnant.
|1st birthday cake|
In 2006 my firstborn son was born.
In 2007 my second son was born and then in 2008 we were pregnant again. This time I KNEW it was going to be a girl and I thought of that dream often.
My mum flew over from interstate to be there for the 20 week ultrasound and we all crowded into a tiny room waiting to hear the news we were expecting - that it was a girl this time. I had even planned to go shopping just with my mum to buy some 'pink' things while we had the boys babysat.
The sonographer zoomed in on his 'bits' and my heart sank - I was quite familiar with those 'bits' as I'd seen them before - it was a BOY!
My mum looked at me with that 'loving mum' look that melts your heart and said, "Honey. It's okay. I know you're disappointed". I burst into tears. My mobile phone started frantically beeping from family members and friends all desperate to know if we were expecting a girl this time. I couldn't bring myself to reply - for days. It wasn't that I didn't want another boy - I just desperately wanted a daughter.
I have such a beautiful relationship with mum and she had that relationship with my grandma and I couldn't bear the thought of never getting to enjoy the unique mother daughter bond.
Some people accused me of being ungrateful but I couldn't help the way I felt.
After a move back home after years interstate I wanted a 4th child but hubby was not so keen.
Then SURPRISE baby no#4 was on its way (and of course, hubby was stoked!).
This time I prepared myself for another boy. I even had his name picked out - Judah.
We took the whole family to the 20 week ultrasound. The sonographer looked at my 3 boys and
smiled and asked if we wanted to know what it was. She clearly couldn't wait to find out because she went straight there but didn't say anything. I asked if that was a bottoms up view and she replied yes, and I noted there were no 'bits' in sight. But she didn't reveal until 40 minutes later that she was positive it was a girl!
I went in to shock and my mum cried!
Later that day, hubby came home and said that he had been praying prayers of thankfulness all day and felt like her name should be 'Pinky'. It was the same name from the dream I had 6 years earlier - but hubby hadn't remembered. It was in that moment we realised that God had indeed promised us a daughter all those years ago and this had always been meant to be.
In February 2012 my little girl was born. We had a daughter!
|4 generations of women - I'm the baby here!|
Just weeks before my daughters 1st birthday my beautiful grandma passed away at 91 years of age.
I realised that my dream had been accurate - there had been four generations of women from our family together for a time. As we said our goodbyes to my grandma and reminisced about my own great grandmother I realised for the first time that my daughters name was a perfect combination of both my grandmother and great-grandmothers name.
It was overwhelming how everything God had promised in that dream had unfolded - not in my time but in his own perfect timing.
So as we celebrated her 1st birthday it was with an overwhelmingly thankful heart and sense of awe knowing that her life has meaning and value beyond what we understand and that we know that God is always faithful to his promises.